I get asked all sorts of questions, on a near daily basis, about the bad behavior of other therapists. In particular, people seem especially troubled by the meaning of this behavior. “My therapist left me waiting in the waiting room for an hour and a half. Do you think he was testing me?” “Why would a therapist not return my calls? Do you think she was trying to send me some sort of message?” And lastly, “My therapist no-showed our appointment several times; what does that mean?” First of all, I’m sorry you have a lousy therapist. But please try not to over-analyze the behavior of someone unprofessional. There is no special meaning or message. If there was, I’d hope that they would just tell you outright rather than make therapists look bad.
Really, if there is a message that the therapist is trying to convey, it’s “I’m a bad therapist”. I can’t imagine what other message they would be trying to send other than that. Especially if they no-show your appointments. That’s got to be the worst. I can only imagine what it feels like to show up to the office and the therapist isn’t even there. I suppose we’re all human and we all make mistakes, but if this happens more than once, that’s really telling you something. Any therapist that makes you feel unimportant or unwanted, is not a therapist worth keeping. Trust me, there are therapists out there that would be thrilled to have you as a client. You don’t have to stand for this treatment.
The meaning, the message, the significance, etc, is clear: You can do better. You deserve a better therapist. It’s time to get someone good who knows how to keep a scheduled appointment. You don’t have to put up with this anymore. Most importantly, it’s not your fault. Like I said, there are lots of therapists out there that would love you have you. So why not go find someone new right now? It would be less of a hassle than trying to get in contact with your current therapist.